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Heather laughed. “Good Lord, no, I’d be wasted if I drank that much.”He chuckled and his face broke into a huge grin, revealing his gleaming white teeth. “That’s what vacation is for, isn’t it?” He spoke with a slight accent that she couldn’t quite place, but his English was quite good.He scooped up the cups so he could return them to the snack bar and turned away. Heather caught herself staring as the young man made his way back across the beach. He returned a few minutes later and began picking up beach chairs and stacking them against a nearby wall.“We’re just picking up all the spares,” he explained, “You stay right there as long as you like.”As the worker and his fellow employees continued their task of picking up chairs, Heather watched over the tops of her sunglasses. Every time he would bend down or lift up a chair, the muscles in his arms would flex, and show off his sculpted figure. Occasionally, he would turn and catch her eye and smile. Heather wasn’t sure if he was. . out of step with mypeers, especially the boys. But what was going on became a littleclearer a few months ago when my class did a bit on sex ed, mostlyfocused on puberty.I realized that any day I could get hit by testosterone, and startbecoming a man. And I also realized I didnt want that to happen.That given my choice, I'd rather become a girl, and then a woman.But I was too scared to do anything about it. Not that my mom would besome kind of monster, I'm sure she would come around to the idea, butI've looked up the stats. For every girl like Jazz Jennings, there aredozens, maybe hundreds who arent as lucky.It can get pretty bad out there for trans folks. And even though Canadais better than some places in the world, doesnt mean there is no riskof really bad stuff happening to me.So there I was, between a rock and a hard place, too scared to try andbe a girl, too scared to even say that's what I wanted, yet knowing ifI didnt do something, and soon, I'd look less and less like a girl.
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