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"There are such things as shops, youknow."We sat silently for a moment or two, absorbing this thought. And thenshe spoke again. "You know, that look is really quite outstanding.It's the sort of dress you might wear while giving a recital."She looked at me meaningfully."No." I was temporarily shocked into raising my voice. She clearlyhad next week's fundraising concert in mind. "I draw the line at that.It's one thing wearing Emma's clothes in the privacy of our home: it'squite another wearing them in public." As you please, dear, but it's a shame," she said, head to one side,looking at me with an unreadable expression. "Perhaps you'll feeldifferently in time."I said nothing, not wanting to be drawn into disagreeing openly withher. It was dawning on me that grandma was not just thinking of thisweekend as a one-off; she was actively contemplating further dressing-up sessions. I remembered, with apprehension, the reference to shopsand shopping, and wondered just what she had in. And each time Little Johnny raises his hand the teacher ignores him and calls on other students. This continues until she reaches the letter U. By this time Little Johnny is almost jumping out of his seat. The teacher can’t really think of a bad word that starts with that letter. So she calls on him.“U-R-I-N-A-T-E, urinate.”The teacher rolls her eyes and says, “OK, now use it in a sentence.”Little Johnny responds, “Urinate, but if you had bigger tits you would be a ten.”Can’t sleep < SlappyYou >Don’t you hate it when you can’t sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago?I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night!Limerick An accident really uncanny Befell a respectable granny; She sat down in a chair While her false teeth were there And bit herself right in the fanny.What did Fap say when he saw a dog licking his balls?... Thanks.Why does a dog lick his own balls?Because he can.A rich old lady’s birthday is coming up... Her three sons want to impress.
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