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I collapsed then next to her on the bed. I had to recover and she had to finish recovering. God, I thought, that had been exhausting, invigorating, euphoric and just down right fun. I wasn't sure what to do next. Do we cuddle like Betty and I do the vast majority of the time. Do we just get up and I go find my wife or what?I ended up laying there thinking. I still wasn't sure how I felt emotionally about what had happen. This was the first time I had had sex with someone not my wife. After all those years of saying no to others, having a mind set that said no way to cheating, it was like a wall had been shattered and I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be shattered. At the same time I was glad it was Su that it happened with. We had all grown closer during the last five years and I think we did have a special relationship. More of a friendship one not love of course, even though it was a form of love. I said, "I'm glad you were my first."She looked at me and said, "Huh? First?" First. I next met her in the corner shop, asked after her sister and herself, and wondered how to check whether my codeword still worked. Staring around the shop, I said ‘apricot’ by itself, as if a reminder to myself, and she looked somewhat expectant at it, not exactly trancelike. Then I said ‘stay here’ as I went to look for a packet of dried apricots. She did too, even though people had to push awkwardly past her. When I got back and we bought our things and set off, I opened the packet and said ‘apricot?’. She responded with a negative so I added ‘take one’ and she did. I played with a few anodyne commands and discovered that indeed she had no conscious awareness of hearing the command, and always rationalized her action as something she spontaneously wanted to do. As from that moment on the word ‘apricot’ got rather overworked, let me abbreviate it in writing with an at-sign. So I said, ‘@You like being with me’, then said ‘I mustn’t detain you, you don’t want to spend your time with.
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