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She would not be home for several more days. She was out on the road with our son conducting seminars. Once our last child had left for college she decided to start her own business. The previous five years she had worked for a company that conducted business management seminars. She worked her way up to being their premier speaker and finally decided she had the skills and contacts to do it on her own. Our son Todd had just graduated with an MBA and wanted to work with her. They are still struggling but beginning to catch on. Their bookings have increased dramatically the last couple of months.I started to take care of my erection myself, but I was not totally committed. My mind was drifting, thinking about a project I was working on and after a minute or so of half-hearted stroking I decided to just go back to sleep and take care of it later. But first I got up, closed the drapes, and in the darkness, got back into bed and quickly went back to sleep. That had not always been easy. You could accuse me of having double standards, for I had been most disparaging of Sergeant Neddy Claypole blowing his brains out in Bosnia, yet here I am planning to end my own life, although not in a similar manner as his. It wasn't his suicide which incensed me, but rather his total disregard for the people who had to clear up the mess he left behind, and I'm not just talking of the brain and blood spattered platoon office but also the amount of paper work his unexpected death caused. I was determined to go out quietly and cleanly, leaving all my paperwork in good order.To this end I began to write my will, which was when it struck me I had no relatives to leave my few belongs to, nor to mourn my passing. My mother, father, and sister were dead, and my brother went to Australia in 1969 and had not been heard of since. He too could be dead, or on permanent walkabout.As far as I knew none of the many women with whom I had shared bodily fluids had been fruitful. If they had I hadn't.
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