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I worried about him. But I made good on my promise to myself. I swallowed every horror, absorbed all the crap that his brain threw at us, and managed to keep going, to keep being there for him, and while I worried, I loved him more. I wanted him to talk to a professional, but since it became obvious that the conversation made him clam up quicker than charity and bankers, I dropped the idea. We ran so that Jesse slept better. I slept better because I was exhausted.Half term began to creep around, along with our two month anniversary, and I decided that something a bit special was in order, so I began to make plans for the week, hoping to surprise Jesse with my thoughtfulness. And maybe neatness.The last Friday of term was declared as an option subject day, and Jesse and I got a whole day in the art room. Which meant that we officially got to ditch our uniforms. Knowing I was going to be messy the whole day I choose my oldest most holey jeans and my favourite dark blue t-shirt,. I should not be looking at a sixteen-year-old girl this way. Especially one that was staying in my house dealing with family bullshit and parent problems.I moved quickly away from the door and went into my room. I climbed into bed and as typical living alone, I left the door open.I laid there, turned on the TV, turned the volume down, and I laid in bed covered up.I could not stop thinking about the sight I just saw not five minutes ago. My heart was pounding in my chest, my body was shaking, and I was thinking about shit I should not be.I heard the door open. I sat there on the bed, leaning against the headboard watching TV. And I saw Maddie walk in."Hey," I said."Hey yourself," Maddie said.I sat there, not sure what to say. It felt kind of awkward.And then without a word she climbed into bed and wrapped the covers around herself."Are you okay?" I finally said. I felt awkward and not really sure what the fuck to say."Yeah. I'm sorry. About earlier. Like that was weird. I didn't, you.
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