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I had one guy at the bar who seemed to be a permanent fixture. In the week I was there he had helped me close every night. There were three other men in their forties who had stopped by after bowling, and four twenty something guys who seemed to be having a serious discussion on important matters, telling lies. The phone rang. I answered and a young lady asked if Joe Nichols was still there. ‘Joe Nichols? Hold on and I’ll check.’ I hated this part of the job. ‘Joe Nichols, Joe Nichols. Phone call.’ One of the young guys came over with a ten in his hand. He leaned over and whispered to me- ‘Tell her I’m not here.’ I palmed the ten and looked him in the eyes as I spoke into the phone. ‘Ma’am, he said to tell you he’s not here.’ His eyes were as big as marbles. I chuckled into the phone. ‘Ma’am? He’s right here. Sorry about what I said, it’s just bartender humor. I’m gonna give him the phone now, try not to be upset if he’s a little late coming home. He was actually leaving when I asked. Why?" she said puzzled."That's exactly my size. Sell me your trousers Lisa!"She looked at me for a moment and then said, "You're joking right!" but obviously not quite sure if I was or not."No, no joke", I said, "You sell me your trousers and I'll give you twice the rack price." Oh I couldn't do that", she replied nervously."Of course you could Lisa. I get the trousers I want and you make a good profit - easy as that!"Once again she looked confused but I could see the idea was going through her head. "Let me get this straight. I sell you the actual trousers I am wearing and you give me twice the usual price for them!" That's it!" I said.Again she mulled it over and then said, "Okay you're on", and started to step out of the room."Hold on", I said going for broke, "there's one more condition. You take them off here, in front of me."The realisation of what I had just said hit her. She froze just looking at me. I could almost hear her brain computing the options; ask me to leave.
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