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Uske expressions se lag raha tha, ki uska bhi dil tez dhadak raha tha. Usko bhi meri frankness achi lagi. Fir usne bola-Rachit: Frank ladkiya apne dil mein kuch nahi chupaati. Tum bhi apne baare mein kuch batao.Fir maine usko sab kuch bataya. Wo surprised hua, ki mujh jaisi khoobsurat ladki ko itne time se ek acha rishta nahi mil raha tha. Fir usne mujhse poocha-Rachit: Tum apna career kyu nahi banana chaahti, aur shaadi kyu karna chaahti ho?To maine usko frankly bol diya: Maine aaj tak koi boyfriend nahi banaya hai, aur meri physical needs bahut zyada ho gayi hai.Rachit: Ok.Fir maine usko ye bhi bataya: Main kayi baar porn bhi dekhti hu. Waise tum chaahe to mujhe judge kar sakte ho. Par mujhe jhooth bolne mein koi interest nahi hai.Rachit meri ye baat sun kar bahut excited ho gaya. Fir wo bola-Rachit: Actual mein sab isi wajah se shaadi karna chaahte hai.Main: Hmm.Fir usne mujhse poocha: Waise kya main aapko pasand hu? Aur kya aap meri banogi? Kya aap mere sath har raat ko sex. My only escape seemed to be to fantasize about Kate, which I did often. My start of junior high in September was not the joyous occasion I had imagined. Kate lived on the other side of town and ended up at a different school. Although I was surrounded by more attractive young girls than I could imagine, I could not get Kate out of my mind. As I sat in class, I often found myself looking off to the right expecting to see her sitting there against the wall. I was like a lost puppy, with no one to follow around. Although I was without Kate, I didn’t dare start a relationship with someone else. I simply didn’t want to share the pain I was going through with anyone else. My internalizing my pain wasn’t exactly doing me any good though. It was just that the infighting in my family was not something I wanted to expose anyone else to at this time. The problems at home only added to my insecurities I felt as an adolescent. I was really starting to reach a breaking point. I thought about Kate.
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