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He would suddenly ask her a pertinent question or ask her opinion and she would stumble for an answer trying to cover the fact that she had not been listening to the words at all. It was the feeling, the cadence, the phrasing that mesmerized her, that calmed and, in the end, excited her. Soon each began to wonder what the other looked like. Each had a clear idea of the other and each was hesitant to take the next step. With each telephone conversation, friendship turned to a closeness. There was a reluctance to say, ‘Good bye.’ at the close of each call. Neither wanted the other’s calls to end and soon neither wanted the sharing to end. They had trusted and shared so much, they had covered so much ground, soon closeness matured into desire. Each had a deep unspoken hunger that could only be satisfied by the other. They had met by chance. She had called his office one day to inquire after one of his associates and a call that could have been answered by anyone in the office turned. The pictures on the covers were of strong, dashing men sweeping women off their feet. I had to read them.I took one of them out and opened it. Sitting there in the attic, I read a few lines, and then skipped ahead, reading bits and pieces of a romantic story about an over-emotional woman. And then I found the point where the dashing young man forced a kiss on her.She resisted, he persisted. He pressed further, touching her all over her body, pushing her down onto bed, partially stripping her and then... Oh, My God!The things those books talked about! There were men taking women, not gently "making love" but taking them, forcing themselves on women who wanted it but couldn't allow themselves to want it.These men drove women to passion that my ten-year-old self could only begin to understand! I grabbed as many of the books as I could carry and took them down to my bedroom - hiding them in the bottom drawer of my dresser, under my off-season clothes.From there, I would take one out at.
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