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Natalie and I had gone to high school together and while I had always been secretly in love with her, I knew that she moved with the faster crowd. On the nights she needed to slow down and just watch a movie and eat popcorn, I was the guy to call. Now she was married to this asshole that I had hated from the first moment I'd known about him but I had never had the balls to say anything to her about it. I respected marriage and so I took a back seat, never breathing a word to her about my feelings concerning her or my hatred for her husband. When she arrived at my door I had expected her to be in tears. On the phone she said he was leaving her and that she needed to talk to someone soon. But instead of emotions of any kind she walked in with an expression closer to that of a runway stripper, dropped the trench coat she was wearing and revealed a lacy full body lingerie complete with thigh-highs and garters. I was so shocked that when she fell to her knees in front of me and pushed her. And extrapolating from that notion, I began wondering why I had been born male. Why hadn't I been born a girl - so I could demonstrate to my gender how to REALLY be a girl? I began to pray - not to god, because I knew that he would condemn me for it - but to his opposite, Satan. I got down on my knees, totally naked, an erect penis, and prayed as hard as I ever prayed to Satan to transform me into a woman. In return I promised Him that I would serve Him faithfully as long as I lived, and labor for Him in the brothels of Hell for eternity. And I meant everything I said. Then I masturbated to completion. After I came, I felt silly, and brushed it off as a sexual fantasy.So, whether I was BORN "that way," or became that way as a result of my pact with Satan, I gradually found myself gravitating toward homosexual thoughts, and a few days later, I experimented with cross dressing for the first time. Again, I was home alone and masturbating, and apropos of nothing, I ran to my mom's room.
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