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It wasn’t social acceptance I needed, but self-acceptance. I could tell myself I wouldn’t do it, but deep down I knew I would succumb to my dark desires. They made me feel dirty and ashamed, but horny as well.It felt degrading and naughty, yet it fulfilled some need I didn’t know I had, some identity that had been kept secret from myself. This part was very liberating and exciting.Nonetheless, when I took out or answered an ad, I felt adrenalized, even shaking. Why did I force myself to do this? If they responded, I was excited, yet terrified. If they didn’t, I felt disappointed and discouraged, but relieved. If I accepted, I would think about it all day, with a knot in my stomach. Yet, when it came time to meet, I half felt like canceling or bailing out, but did not do so. When we did meet, I was just fine; after all, I had done this before, and enjoyed it, so what’s the big deal?I decided to give it one last try, do everything, satisfy my curiosity, and get it out of my system once. Nothing back to us, got it? Tell Adams to find a lever, apply pressure, and terminate our problem. For good! Suggest to our associate that expendable talent is needed. Nobody left to talk. Can you handle that? Remember, it’s your ass too. Together! We pull our asses out of the fire together!”RetaliationFrank Jacobs returned home after a late day at his insurance agency. No one was home to greet him. He saw signs of a struggle in the kitchen. He could only assume that his wife Madeline and teenage daughter Marilee had been taken. He found no note, no message, no demand. There was no message on his answering machine either at home or when he called to check at his office.He called the Twisp City marshall who radioed the resident County Sheriff’s deputy. Both men responded. Other than signs of the kitchen struggle and a small blood smear on the front gate post, there were no clues, no evidence left by the abductors. A close examination showed the door knobs, the gate latch, the screen.
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