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“What you doing?” Kevin asked me.“Oh, nothing, just texting someone,” I said.“A girl?” he asked.“Uh, yeah, actually, it is.”She replied within a minute.YOU PRICK! DELETE THEM NOW! She sent.No way. I repliedDELETE THEM OR I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! She saidI think I’ll put them up on facebook. I said.There was a long wait in between this message and the next but finally.:What do I have to do to get you to delete them?I’ll be back later with some suggestions I sent.Smiling I got back to my beer.“What are you grinning about?” Kevin asked. “Are you gonna get laid? Is she hot?”“She’s pretty fucking hot, Kevin,” I said And you know what? I might just get laid. I thought.I got in at around 1AM. Claire was sitting on the couch. Her friends had gone home.“Give me your phone right now,” she said standing up from the couch. She was wearing her blue pyjama shorts and a yellow vest, she looked incredible.“Claire, you think the only copy I have is on my phone? Don’t be stupid.”She ran a frustrated hand. To my surprise she agreed to go out with me. We dated the rest of the summer and became very close. I was falling in love with her. One evening we couldn’t decide what to do so she asked if I minded taking her to see her sister Janice and her husband. I hadn’t even heard Janice had married until I began dating Roxie. We got to Janice’s house and I found out she had married Eddie. He had always been a smart mouth but wasn’t totally obnoxious. He was a little sleazy and reminded me of a TV actor called Eddie Haskell on an old show ‘Leave it to Beaver’. Eddie and I got along ok and we all had fun together during that visit. After a couple of drinks he and I got along really well. We bonded. I would say we became friends. Roxie and I became pretty regular visitors at her sister’s home after that. The problem I had with Eddie the asshole arose about eight years after Roxie and I got married. My solution to this problem was what moved me into the Asshole category for life. One day Eddie.
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