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I have tried many times to tell him, but when you have a marriage as great as mine it is far too hard to just put fire on the ice. I know it would hurt him so much….so bad. I mean, in every form of fashion I can tell that this man loves me with all of his passion. On too many occasions he has expressed to me how I am his world; I am his rib, his life. I am a part of him, his better half. After I cheated, guilt settled into me. Almost every time I was alone with him I would be on the verge of crying. It was that way for a very long time. I almost couldn’t be myself around him. I really can’t explain why I did it and I have no excuses. That day I was just out of my element and temptation was greater than my will. That day I came home from work early, it was about 3:30 in the afternoon. Outside, it was very hot, probably over one hundred degrees and my car seemed to be out of that stuff you put in the car to make the air blow colder.Everyone has their thing, that one thing that turns. My fingers were sliding under water. I opened my eyes and gasped with a startle…The mirror was starring back at me. Purified from the trip’s fatigue, I got prepared to meet my friend Julian for lunch. He was an English architect living in Paris for several years. Tall, dark haired, warm grey eyes, a large forehead with locks of hair falling in disorder, he was hardly a typical forty years old man. A permanent smile tinted with shades of sadness never ceased to evoke in me the image of a resigned artist, a young one, who never realized the passing of time. He had a way of looking at you that was both intriguing and moving. The same smile was welcoming me that day, at the table of a café. ‘Jane, my dear, it’s been so long’ said he, almost shyly, then kissed my cheek. I smiled. He wanted me. I could read it in his eyes. He took my hand in his and. Those tender grey eyes started to dive into me, as was his habit, in search for whatever secret I did not want to reveal. I was stirred,.
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