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She then leaned forward toward me. “We should just go.”I quickly shook my head, trying to get ahold of my emotions. Part of me really wanted to run after him and make good on my promise to gut him. She waited patiently for me to respond verbally.Finally, after a couple minutes, my eyes were back to normal, so I opened them to find her watching me in concern. She looked ashamed and guilty too, though I already was aware of that from her scent.I tried to smile at her. “We still need to get your ring finger measured, remember?”“No, seriously. It can wait,” she disagreed. “What if that guy tells security? Or calls the police?”I sighed heavily, knowing she was right.Dammit.Standing up, we grabbed our snack to bring with us, prompting her to vent once we left the food court and began making our way to the exit.“Jeez,” she hissed. “I figured that after yesterday, and this morning, I had used up my quota of bad luck for the rest of my life.” She then clarified when I gave her a confused look.. .. it must have hurt you." That's what I wanted at the time," she replied sadly. "To see blood. To feel pain." She paused dejectedly. "I ... I was really fucked up, sir."It's the first time I'd ever heard her use harsh language. I reached out and took her hand in mine, and she looked down and studied them ... our two hands ... seemingly mesmerized by the sight. "How fucked up were you, Dawn?"She shrugged. I got the weird impression she was talking to our hands rather than to me. "Oh ... pretty fucked up. And ... at the moment, I was drunk ... and high. All of a suddenly, I decided that I didn't want to die a virgin. I had just swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills, you see ... one of the same kinds of pills you have upstairs next to your bed. I woke up the next day in a pool of my own vomit. How pathetic is THAT!?" Why did you do that? Why did you try to kill yourself?"She sighed heavily and continued to speak to the hands. "I read a dozen books on psychology at the library after.
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