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Circle the items you'd like and I'll be back tomorrow. We better hurry, there's a deadline to meet."***My date was just a week away, and suddenly everything kicked into high gear. Movers came to remove all my old furniture, followed that same day by painters who repainted the entire apartment. Bright yellow for the bedroom, deep red for the living room and dining room, dark green for the kitchen, bright aqua for the bathroom. Thanks to my obsessive cleaning, the place was already spotless and organized to the nth degree. New furniture, sheets, and towels arrived and suddenly the place looked amazing. Very feminine, yes, but also quite tasteful.Practically overnight, my environment had changed to match my new outward appearance.And then there was the reading. Julia finally brought me more reading: "The New York Times", "The Washington Post", and "The Los Angeles Times", which I had to read, every day, cover-to-cover."So you'll have something to talk about," Julia. .. But, then again, if you remember correctly, Iwouldn't let you. Every time you tried to jump in, and lenda hand, so to speak, I stopped you. So, I guess you couldsay that I have only myself to blame. Tell you what! Ifit'll make you feel better, I'll deduct half a point fromthe grand total for your lack of participation. Okay. If mycalculations are correct, that gives you an overall ratingof eleven and a half, and, just so you know, that's a solidthree and a half points more than any other woman that I'veever shared a bed with." Once again employing the double positive to put anegative spin on her reply, Mike quipped, "Yeah! Right!John, would you please stop bird-turdin' me and give me anhonest answer! Was I average, less than average, or what?" Being as serious as he could, John said, "Okay,Mikey! You want an honest answer. I'll give you one. Youweren't just great. You were fantastic! I have never -Ever! - enjoyed making love to a woman as much as I havewith you.
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