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S.S.” Erin smiled at me.“Keep It Simple, Stupid. Very funny. Simple. Hmmmm. Simple. I think I’ve got an idea.”“What?”Erin almost shouted the question.“Oh no. I gotta fill this idea out. If I can pull this off it will be cool.”“What is it?” Blossom calmly asked.“Thank you, Sweetie. You too Baby.”I stood and walked away, with the gears in my brain spinning like crazy. By the time her birthday arrived a week later, I was ready. I pulled Erin and Blossom to the side the night before as we were getting ready for bed.“Sweetie? Baby? I need to ask a big favor for Lynn’s birthday. In the morning, would you two please make love to her for a long time? I need time in the morning in order to give her my gift.”“Gee, husband, do I want to spend time making love to my wife on the morning of her birthday? Let me think. Yes!” Erin laughed at her own joke.“I don’t think that will be a problem. Erin can take care of her in bed and I will clean her up in the shower before we come down for. " I did not argue or reason with her at all. My Famous last words were - "Let me know when the divorce papers are drawn, I will sign them. I guess you will be moving out today, I will go out for a while so that you have time to pack."That is how my marriage ended. It is humiliating and disconcerting when a woman chooses her lover her husband and I did feel like a lesser man for some time after the divorce. Then I got back into the dating business and got rave reviews for my performance in bed. They could have been false words spoken by women who looked at me as a potential husband but I did not mind it and my bruised ego got better. However, that, to a very large extent, made me a skeptic and also ended my wish to be married anymore. I know quite well that no matter what I do I am going to die in an old-age-home, children do not have much time for old parents anyway. All I could gain from a marriage is a stable sex life and some companionship. Heck, paying up a collage grad for some.
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