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‘Another year, another couple of hours to waste as everybody goes last minute shopping’.As my mind started to wonder, thinking about Jenny, my neighbour’s daughter, who had also recently just had her eighteenth birthday and had celebrated by going out and getting hammered on the local club circuit, I failed to notice that I had blindly walked into a construction site. I stood dumbfounded for a moment as I looked around to find out where I was, how I got there and how the hell I was supposed to get out.As I turned to leave, there was a sudden clatter from above. “Heads up!” shouted a voice from the scaffolding as a metal bucket slammed into my head. 'Ouch!' I thought with irony as darkness quickly swept over my eyes. I awoke with growing crowd of construction workers gathered around me.“Jesus H. Christ pal! Are you alright?” said one of the workers holding out a hand.“Yeah” I said rubbing my head. “I’m fine”. The construction worker looked down at the now dented bucket and. I already metthe quota in 1998. From time-to-time the more uncharitable, and mostlyfemale, of my co-religionists suggest that I should "read the Bible."I've done that too. Beginning to end, not just the good bits--so I'm allsquared away. It's not like I'm going to read it *again,* when I knowhow it ends. I could watch "On the Town", "Breakfast at Tiffany's", and"How to Marry a Millionaire" ten times *each* quicker than sloggingthrough that again. It's a good book, but I don't know who decided it's*THE* good book--certainly not the NYTRB.They're remarkably lenient, the Catholics. If you are overwhelmed withguilt that you shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, my advice is toconfess at a Catholic church rather than a police station! You'll get afar better deal, and it's more convenient. What if you've already leftNevada and don't feel like directing your chauffeur back there? You canconfess it in a church anywhere!The only situation where I'd recommend the police station.
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