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She tried to calm me down. 'Daddy' she said, and I relaxedabout looking so hot. Women loved to look hot, and I had that look.It wasn't only that though, it was the thought of going out with two guys.She introduced me to Jacques and Peter at the restaurant, and they wereboth very smart looking young men. Peter was just so tall! Everyone hadbeen looking at me from the car to the door, but I had to look up toPeter. Except he didn't really want to catch my eyes, and I noticed thathe blushed and mumbled a lot whilst Jacques and Steffi just talked. Itwas so endearing! I didn't know where these thoughts had come from exceptI just wanted Peter to open up and become interested in me. I reached forhis hand, touched his arm, and when he looked at me I showed him my eyesand batted my lashes without thought. When he looked down I nudged mychest up slightly, knowing how much men love to look at boobs. So hestarted to talk, and then he touched my hand back and I thought it was abit. ." Me too. We can hold each other when they come," she interrupted again." ... and I have a spirit in my head that talks to me, and I'm paranoid about everything. I probably have PTSD and I'll wake up someday a raving lunatic, or worse." I like Martinez. He visited my head when we were in Florida, you know. I don't care about the paranoia. Have you had any strong feeling of paranoia lately? I don't think so. I think that you were paranoid – note the use of the past tense – because you were living alone. Now you mostly have memories of being paranoid. Everybody who has been through a dangerous situation probably has PTSD. If you wake up a lunatic, I still don't care. You wouldn't hurt me. I know you wouldn't." It hasn't been long since my ex-wife left me. I'm not over that yet." That sounded hollow even to me."Only about eleven years. Were you planning on taking that to the grave?" I was nuts for most of that time. I haven't gotten used to it, now that I'm sane." I thought you were.
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