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"What are you doing?" I asked in denial of the obvious as I tried to collect my real thoughts."I'm going." No, don't go!" I cried suddenly realising the frightful horror of how much I depended on her. She was my sounding board, my crutch, my only connection to real people in the outside world. The thought of her leaving hit me hard, as she was in truth, my only friend.I apologised repeatedly and pleaded with her to stay for my own sanity more than anything else. I started to piece together the implications the loss of my sister would mean. It was a flashpoint; a fracture in which I knew if it was played out to the end the damage would be irrevocable."She has a point," remarked Sally, an unjustifiable reason to me but rationally presented by my sister causing bafflement on my part. "It doesn't look good, not after father watched me in...." Her voice trailed away."Watched you, watched you doing what?"Sally cut me a Siam stare as she went about her packing."God, you're so naive!" She. .. No ... Yes ... Yes ... Yes ... No ... Yes ... No ... Yes ... Yes... “Yeah, in a way ... But also taking a break. I mean, it’s Heather we’re talking about. It’s impossible to explain.”“Okay, I understand what you’re saying ... But I feel terrible. It has to be really hard.”“Mostly I’m trying to ignore it, focus on school and Jonah’s thing, and take it a day at a time.”“That’s good, Matty ... Even if it can’t be fun to be apart from her. Anything you need, just ask, okay?”“Thanks, Shan. I appreciate it.”The weekend arrived and the promise of a music marathon was another appealing escape from the darker undercurrents of life. Friday night, Muireann and I kicked it off by heading to our usual haunt with instruments in hand, leaving Lara and Tommy in the cabin to practice their harmonies and whatnot.The bright moon added a silver highlight to everything I could see, as we picked our way through the trees. I couldn’t wait to sit by the city of candles and be accompanied by the endlessly.
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