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I sat there, not sure what to say. It felt kind of awkward.And then without a word she climbed into bed and wrapped the covers around herself."Are you okay?" I finally said. I felt awkward and not really sure what the fuck to say."Yeah. I'm sorry. About earlier. Like that was weird. I didn't, you know, mean to act that way towards you," Maddie said."Act what way?" I said kind of awkwardly.She laughed."Oh. Do you always kiss sixteen-year-old girls like that? Is that normal?" Maddie finally said with a laugh."Oh, God. No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean, you know, to make it sound that way. I'm sorry. I sound like a fucking pervert," I said with a stutter.Maddie laughed.She moved over, leaned her head on my shoulder, put her hand on mine, and smiled up at me."I'm just kidding. I'm glad I'm here. Is it okay if I sleep in here with you? I won't tell anyone," Maddie said.I was nervous as hell, scared, and really not sure what to say."Uh, well okay," I said. I didn't know how to answer. I never knew if I was right or not, who can see the future, but I did it just the same.I did not kill for fun or sport. I got no pleasure or benefit out of doing it. If anything I got horrible nightmares. Every night I see the live face of the person I killed and then I see their face in death. There were so many, so many. War is like that. You kill because you have to kill, so you will be able to kill again.Even before then I was a horrible person. As a child I stole things, I hit people, I lied and cheated. Now I was not always that way. As a very young child I was told I was pretty sweet and the family and neighbors loved me. Somewhere along the line I just got mean.I think it was because of the mark. I have a slow growing birthmark on my face. It was not there when I was born, I have seen the pictures but at about six or seven years if age it shows up, small at first and then the discoloration got larger. It is not that it is ugly, well it is to me, but it just bothers the hell.
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