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Fall into whatever lay below. Which in the instant case was right into my boat. And not to labor a point here, but the odors sank right onto my bunk in the forward cabin. And even more directly to the point, right down onto my shiny bald head and up my twice-broken but still imminently functional nose. Which wasn’t really such a bad thing that first night, and perhaps not even for the first week after my arrival. I got used to flaming goose turds ala orange, and even the linguini in a delicate limburger cheese sauce. No, really, I did. Then one night the garlic, the fennel, the basil — all of it swarmed and attacked like a herd of mad penguins and in pure panic and desperation I sought out some hippie hideaway off Piccadilly Circus and stocked up on incense. Patchouli, sandalwood, essence of camel crotch — anything, really, to fight the nonstop wave of nouvelle cuisine that was bombarding me all evening, every evening — save Monday. Big sign out front: Closed Monday. Thank God. They. Once it was up and all of my programs updated, I checked my e-mail, more than enough Spam after three weeks. I deleted most of it and read the few remaining. Then I checked in to some of my favorite sites on the net. Some had new stuff, others didn't.Around 11:00 PM, I turned off the computer and headed for bed. Washed up with a wash cloth and brushed my teeth. I discovered it was a real job in the chair. I eventually went to bed.Day 22I got up the next morning about 8:00AM and found out what a problem shaving would be in the chair. I wound up using the electric shaver instead. I wasn't very satisfied with the results. Since I had slept in my underwear, I had to get dressed by myself, which was another real chore.I went looking for breakfast. Opening the refrigerator was a big mistake. The fridge was a disaster area. Things were either green, moldy, or rotten. I got the trash can and started throwing things out. That was where the trouble started. It was too awkward in the wheel.
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