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Like I said, I’ve seen all kinds of fares, but the topper had to be this rich society bitch last Christmas. I pick her up at BWI loaded her bags into the trunk and take off. She’s wearing a dead fox around her shoulders and gave some fancy up town address. She’s about 40 years old, but still sexy in a stuck-up kind of way. Stinking rich. I’m not kidding you. But here’s the thing: When I pull in front of her castle, she goes into her purse to pay the tab, and whaddya know? She can’t find her wallet! “I’m terribly sorry,” she says in this hoity-toity voice. “I don’t seem to be able to pay you”. “That’s too fuckin’ bad, lady,” I say. “I guess you ain’t goin’ home yet then.” And I pull away from the curb and head for the nearest expressway. That got her panties all bunched up. “What can I pay you with?” she says all nervous and agitated. She’s in my environment now. “Well for starters you can suck my dick,” I say. I figure that she’ll get insulted and report me but what the heck, right?. Slow down."*********A junkyard somewhere outside of Jersey City, New Jersey."Come in, but mind the mess."The man who welcomed me inside looked a little like every mad scientistin every bad movie I had seen, and I could see he wasn't kidding aboutthe mess."So. You want my story, huh?"I nodded."I was always a smart cookie, but when "S" day happened, it was like mybrain exploded. I became the smartest man in the world, and you'd thinkthat would mean I would get all kinds of positive things happen becauseof that, but it turns out I have one serious drawback.I have more ideas than enough, but I cant stay focused on any idea longenough to make the idea real.So here I sit here, surrounded by a junkyard full of half-finishedinventions, and none of them will probably ever see the light of day.Just goes to show, "smart" isnt all its cracked up to be ...*******Alert, Northwest Territory, Canada"Normally, I dont entertain visitors, but for such a special occasion I'mwilling to make an.
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