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Unable to help them with their gravity conundrums I started to sink into depression. As the years passed I was missing the stimulation of Beverly and I was accused of having become a recluse by the press. It was during one of my black introspective periods that she reappeared. Late one frozen winter's night I was sitting reading some notes about a new bio-growth process my company was developing. My brain was simply too tired to digest the information and I dropped the pages sleepily on the floor then shuffled to my bedroom. I still lived alone and had now bought much of the land surrounding my cottage so I lived in a sort of splendid isolation. Once in bed I switched off the light to savor the absolute silence of the still winter's night. Even the trees seemed to be stunned by the bitter cold and the snow lay like glowing pewter in the brilliant moonlight. It was a full moon and I couldn't help but wonder if Beverly was lurking behind it. Suddenly there. Did I try to find her and have a face to face with her? No I didn’t. Why bother. All I would hear was her saying that she had found Mr. Right. I didn’t need that. I already hurt bad enough from just the phone call.Life took on a bleak sameness for me.“End of dayGo back homeHave a bit to eat then go sit in the living room aloneEasy chairWatch TVHalfway through the news I’m soundly sleepingNo I won’t go so far as to say that I’m fineToo much of what I felt for you remainsI’d like to believe in the healing hands of timeBut the truth is I really can’t sayIf I’m getting better or just used to the pain.”It was a couple of months before I had any interest of meeting someone of the opposite sex. And even then I wasn’t looking for a lasting relationship; I was just needing to get laid. Lasting relationships just didn’t seem to work for me.Carol and I had gone steady from the eighth grade until high school graduation. During the summer before we started college she semi-broke up with me. Said.
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