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There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery." Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" Well, Brenda, no; in fact, he got out three times to pee."Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" That he did, Father."The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"She says, He said, "Please Mary, put down that damn gun."And the Best for LastA drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.The. " Tsk, tsk, tsk. Give him a new toy and he forgets all his responsibilities. Come on, Guys. Let's go outside."The dogs followed me into the living room. I let Bozo out, then picked Posie up."Good morning, Sunshine."She licked my face as if I had cookie crumbs all over it.I carried her down and let her loose at the bottom of the stairs. She ran around to the grass underneath them and did her thing.I chewed on my cookie while they used the facilities, then broke the last of it in half, giving them each a piece."You two are going to get soooo spoiled today, you know that don't you?"I opened the kitchen door to the house and peeked in. Mom was already working, her hair up with a rag around it and a red and white checked apron covering her front. I went inside, followed by the dogs."You're starting early," I said."Starting? I just put my third set of pies in the oven." Wow. I didn't think. Do you need me to cook anything for you?" No, I've got it covered. Just make sure the ham is ready.
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