" But it's all too much," he said, "being a black girl." Don't worry," I said, "I'm here for you, and I know you are all manunderneath that dress. No matter how you look on the outside, I knowhow strong you are on the inside."Ryan began to feel better."Look," I said, "I'm doing it, your brother is doing it, and we are allhere together and supporting each other. The sooner we just suck it upand get done being black women, we can go back to our regular lives.All you have to do is just dance one day a week, for a few more months,and then be done with it." I have no other choice," said Ryan, as he pulled his white tights backup. "And at least I will get to hang out with Danielle, and the otherkids aren't bad either. I just don't want to wear fucking leotards anddresses." I don't either," I said, "but you know, like I said, we'll just all getthrough it together. Also, wearing ladies' clothes is not really theworst thing that can happen to you? What if you lived in a crappycountry. Interestingly, I did some further checking on well technology and found out that my previous information sources were mired in old technology. Recent advances would let us drill to 1500 feet and pull up water relatively easily. Our problem with deep wells was that we were really beyond the extreme edge of the aquifer and couldn't depend on hitting a reliable water source. We discussed the situation and decided to stick with our water wagons. They were inefficient, but reliable. We really needed that dam!We have had little trouble with harassment of our produce shipments over the recent years. Arturo and Julio still ran the guard sweeps when we sent the convoys, but they rarely found any problems. The sniping had even dropped off to insignificance. Did this mean that we had won? I doubted it.I had tried to keep the situation hidden from Sarah, but I thought that I had reached the acute stage of my kidney failure. I couldn't put it off any longer—I had to tell Sarah and the others so.
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