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I sit and I’m knitting a sweater for myself, against the miserable cold. I look down in my lap, and in the coarse wool are woven images which represent my frustrations, my fears, my sorrows. I have been working on this sweater, a little bit every day, my whole life. Over the years it has changed – adding on bits, losing bits – becoming larger and smaller, but always mine, the colors and patterns always familiar. At last my fingers ache and I can do no more today. I stand and pull the sweater over my head, feeling the heavy wool dragging down on my shoulders. I hold it close around my throat and step out into the wild weather. In spite of my best efforts, the sweater does not offer much comfort against the cold – the wind pierces the wide gauge of the stitches and touches my flesh with its chilly fingertips. The freezing rain soaks the wool until it drags me down heavily, and the fabric freezes stiff in the icy blasts. I am shivering with cold, but instinctively still clutching the. "No… I love you and there are times I miss us, but I also know there's no point in dwelling in it too much because we are…" Freddie paused for a moment to figure out where this was going, and praying he could drive it to a point where they could just be friends without all this drama, "Well, we aren't exactly good together. We never were." People can change, Freddie," she said, taking a closer seat to Freddie, hoping she could point this conversation into something more physical. "I'm not exactly the wrecking ball I was in Seattle." And I'm not the sycophantic k!d I was either, but that doesn't mean anything about us." Freddie said, putting his hands firmly in his lap. "We are toxic together. We always have been. Sure we can laugh, hang out, and have a good time, but the physical will drive us to these points that are incredibly great, and blind us to what came before and what would come after. But it doesn't change the fact that you are v!olent and mean at times, and I'm passive.
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