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But she didn't say a thing!FunkyBunch: yeah... they are pretty open about that stuff. It was what i was talking about last year, remember?Smilax: Wait. I was kidding. Did you really ask your Dad if we could have sex? OMGFunkyBunch: lol not in so many words but I knew when i told them i was seeing someone they would know what all that meant. that's why i was so nervous. but now they know :)Smilax: So I could come over there and have my way with you whenever I want and your parents are cool with it?FunkyBunch: what if i said yes?Smilax: Then I'd pack a bag and move in with you like in Roseanne. Darlene and David HAVE to be fucking, right?FunkyBunch: lol i never thought about that but you are totally right!Smilax: I mean how can they not be?-Smilax: Hey. You there?FunkyBunch: yep, what's up? anything wrong?Smilax: Um... I love you.FunkyBunch: I love you tooSmilax: I know. I just wanted to tell you on here. So it's, like, preserved forever in the place where we met or some corny. 'The bastard was cheating on me.' I'm knocked back. This is not what I've been expecting. Or hoping for. I think. 'Yeah, I know,' she goes on. 'Think how stunned I was. Mr bloody Romance. Only he's gone and had it off with some girl he picked up at a night club. At the same happy hunting ground where he met me! Except one of my friends sees him. Stupid bastard.' She pauses, seeming a touch embarrassed. 'You're sorry you asked now.''No, I'm not - get it off your chest.' Good God, I'm quoting lines from a Seventies British sex comedy now! Confessions of a Massage Client With a Dodgy Back. Get it off your chest? For fuck's sake...'So,' Kelly is finishing off, 'my Valentine's Day consisted of him trying to tell me it was only a one-off and he was drunk, as if that's supposed to console me, and then me finally telling him to piss off.''So is that it? No chance you'll get back together??' I hope I sound sympathetic rather than hopeful.'No, that's that,' she shrugs, matter-of-factly..
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