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But that was then. It was innocent, a moment of comfort between us. It was not intended to be anything more. I wondered whether it was anything more to her.I held her once and I felt her soft body up against mine. We had talked and that was so much more intimate than any embrace. We had talked and I studied every line, every curve, the gentle slope of a shoulder, the contrasts between her hair and her neck and her face. I had held her and savoured her scent. I had innocently kissed her cheek, and I had memorized the sweet taste of her skin. A friend's skin.I held her once, and felt her heart beat against my body, and I felt my own heart beat, and I had memorized the rhythm of that percussion, and the rhythm of her breath. In my mind's eye, I could still feel her. But she is not with me now. And it was not supposed to happen that way. I get up from the computer. I walk quietly to an empty room, close the door and turn on the lights. Behind the door is a full-length mirror. I am only. My father was of Russian and Armenian origins, while my mother was a mix of Lebanese and Italian blood. Both had been born in Egypt. After the Egyptian Revolution, my father decided to have the family leave Egypt and move to North America.So here I was now at the age of sixteen and on the eve of graduating from high school. I was precocious for my age and had skipped a few years of school due to transferring from a European system of education to a North American system.I was what today would be considered a nerd due to the difference in age with my classmates. I had not made friends in school. My refuge was in books, and I did not participate in school sports. That is not to say I wasn’t active in sports, but those I did were outside of school. I participated in Judo classes, swam, played tennis and skied in winter. My sports interest were not part of the school curriculum in which my classmates participated.Now I was faced with graduation ceremonies and the prom.“Ray, who have you.
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