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First, I must pee like a woman. Every time I go, I must squat. This alone has helped to further change my mindset. I am constantly aware that I can no longer just “go at will” and always am aware of where the nearest bathroom is when I am on the road because I can’t just whip it out anymore.Secondly, I no longer get to touch myself for pleasure. At ALL. No masturbating for a LONG time! Any time I get an urge and the body reacts as a guy, it physically hurts. Does that mean that I no longer have sexual urges? Of course not! What I am conditioning myself to do is get the male to female equivalent of a genetic girl getting wet. Sarina Valentina is a great example. Watch her videos and you will see that her “cock” doesn’t get hard, you never see her cum in a video, and her thing is more like a large clit than anything else. My sexual urges will be channeled in ways other than having a hard cock.That leads to number three. I won’t be getting erections, I won’t be cumming from stroking and. Men and men. I'd never given much thought about guys before - never had an interest. But I have to admit, when I saw the frozen frame of the two guys going down on each the other night, I downloaded it.Actually I had downloaded quite a few...and intended to delete them after I had viewed them. That is before my computer seized up on me."So I noticed quite a selection of videos you downloaded to Real Player," Randy said without even looking up at me.My heart was thumping loudly in my chest. Shit, did this guy see those videos? Did he know I was looking at gay stuff on the web? "Yea, I downloaded a little. I don't even know what I have. Just sort of downloaded stuff on a site and thought I might get back to it later," I said. I hoped he'd drop it. Assume I didn't know what I was looking at."So, are you gay?" Randy asked bluntly, looking over at me after he took a drink from his beer."No man, why would you ask that?" I shot back indignantly."Well, that's quite a collection of queer.
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