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? I felt silly. I felt very muchthe child, a dirty, naughty child, I knew my place. I waswhimpering.? I needed to cumdesperately.? Michael had stopped meplaying with myself unless he had instructed me to or given permission.? I had to phone and plead with him if I reallybecame desperate and he didn?t always allow me to.? Often, before Michael had changed things, Iwent for a few weeks not even bothering.?Now it was different.? I felt sucha slut realising for the first time how much I needed the relief. It becameridiculous. I couldn?t think straight.? Mybody craved release so much these days. Sometimes Iwondered if I really needed to ask him.?It would be the easy option to cheat though.? So easy just to do it and pretend.? But I didn?t.?I was good and the humiliation of his control over even that part of mylife filled me. ?I was a slut.? I needed his control over these things.? I wanted it.?So it wasn?t me, I knew he was deciding.?It was so embarrassing, so humiliating asking him what I. They fulfil different roles for me." So what happens if one of those roles isn't needed, suddenly?" I didn't choose them because of those roles. It... Well, it just sort of happened. I didn't really choose anyone at all, but that's not the point." So what is the point?" It's difficult to explain." Shawna flopped back on the sofa, her frustration rising. "Why do I have to explain, anyway?" I just want to understand what you're thinking. I don't want you to make a mistake and..." Why is it a mistake? Why does it have to be a mistake just because I'm doing it?" It's not that it's you, Shawna. It's that it's different. People don't do that sort of thing." But I do?" Shawna stormed to her feet. "Sorry to disappoint you! Again!" Punctuating her departure with a slammed door, she jerked her coat from the hook by the door, ripping the material as she did."FUCK IT!" She hurled the coat at the door, catching herself in the face with the zip as she whipped it around. The pain was minor, and.
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