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“So,” said the officer, “you’re saying they were drinking, smoking and kissing before they crashed the car?”The monkey nodded.“And what were you doing while all this was going on?”“Driving,” mimed the monkey.A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms. She asks, “What size please?” “Good question,” he replies, “ I’m not sure,” “Tell ya what. Right outside, there’s a fence with three holes in it, stick your dick in the holes and tell me which one it fits in,” suggests the lady. So he takes her advice, goes outside and puts his d**k in the first hole.. “Oh, She Who Must Not Be Named? The girl made her own choices, Mom and Dad vigorously disapproved, and she got cut off, disowned, etc. She never even showed up at the funeral or anything. She was the baby of the family, so was Mom’s favorite until later. She took a turn that few expected, I suppose, marrying a black man and an activist, community organizer type. Mom and Dad were convinced that she was a real Communist or a Black Panther or a Muslim or something like that. Maybe so, maybe not. Brenda Brown, that’s her name the last time I checked, still married to Lamar Brown. I got nieces and nephews that I haven’t met yet, because she won’t come anywhere close to this neck of the world. Who knows? Maybe she and I can reconcile now, who knows?” I chuckled.“So that you can fuck sweet sis and lure her hubby into bed with us?” Chrissy licked her lips now.“Something like that. Same deal with Chet and Mindy, of course. Hard to say what she’ll do, that sister of mine, same with my brother,.
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