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I entered the shower, shaved where I needed to when you are going to be wearing a bikini and washed with my vanilla body wash. The smell of vanilla filled the room and relaxed all of my muscles. I rinsed off, turned off the water and found my towel. ‘Why am I drying off the put on a bathing suit,’ I smiled and laughed, but still dried off. With my suit on and the sun tea chilling in the fridge I grabbed a bottle of water, my sun screen and a book as I made my way to the back patio. The warm sun hit me hard; my eyes closed, head went back and I sighed. I love the warm days of summer. I set up my things and dove into the pool, the cool water sliding over my body and entering where it wanted like a lover taking control of you. I swam for a while waking my body and mind. I heard a loud commotion from the neighbor’s house, ‘Great there goes my peaceful day.’ My neighbor is a young, overly active man in his 20’s. We have chatted a few times over the fence and I have caught him leering. I had almost always felt good about myself then, but, as I now realized, the past two years of my life had been artificial. How was I going to handle things now? I didn't have the benefit of magick-induced ignorance to fall back upon. It took all the courage I had to gaze into that mirror. I don't believe I ever actually felt good about the way I looked . . . not as a man, at least, and I doubted I would as a woman. Well, I was wrong. I actually liked what I saw. I think the first thing that struck me was just how short I was. I was used to being tall, and it was actually a pleasant change to be short. I could remember the places I'd been -- not to mention the positions I'd been in -- in the past two years, and I remember that it was nice to not have to worry about whether or not I'd fit somewhere. I continued looking at my body with a critical eye. I was rather slight now, with a very slim waist and rather narrow hips. I doubted if I weighed more than ninety.
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