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Why are men such wankers?Because they have a willy with a head but no brains that hangs out with two nuts and lives next door to an arsehole.What do a beer bottles and men have in common?They are both empty from the neck up.Why can women never find their way to a man's heart?Because they aim too high.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?Both of them.Why don't women talk during foreplay?They don't have enough time.Why does it take three million sperm to fertilize one single egg?Because they're too stupid to ask for directions.How does a man show a woman that he is planning for the future?He buys ten cases of beer.What is the difference between men and premium bonds?Premium bonds might mature.Why are most jokes so short?So men can remember them.How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?No one knows because it's never been done.Why is it so difficult for women to pick up men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?They're all. A colour for every day of your new week.Pink for day1, yellow for day 2, Blue for day 3, green for day 4 andBlack for day 5. You'll soon learn and you will refer to the days of theweek by it's colour. Today is day 1 so it's a pink day." Geraldinefetched the 3/4 length pink housecoat from the wardrobe and with a whiteapron laid it on the bed. Geraldine placed her finger under Tristan'sgapping mouth and pushed it shut."Yes dear you're going to be my new house maid - isn't that exciting?" Tristan was too stunned to reply and earned another stoke of the cane.It bought him back to his senses. "Yes Miss Birch." The little Maid outfits are for evenings and when we have guests ofcourse. Now then your 'smalls' are in here." Indicating the chest ofdraws she pulled out a pair of white stockings, a pair of white satinlace trimmed French knickers and a matching bra. Geraldine returned tothe wardrobe and took out a black pair of spiked high-heeled ankleboots. The heels must have been 4 inches..
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