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3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUIET PLEASE ... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFFDid I read that sign right?In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOWIn a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUTIn a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRSIn an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKENIn an office:AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARDOutside a second-hand shop:WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?Notice in health food shop window:CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESSSpotted in a safari. Jake reached for the immense iron knocker and swung it down producing a deep echoing sound that seemed as though it would wake the dead. Before the echo had died away he produced a second wave of sound. A minute later there was the screech of a bolts being withdrawn, then the latch clicked and the door swung ponderously open.“Ah, the cavalry’s arrived.” said an instantly recognised figure.“Mary Kelly! What on earth are you doing here? And would you please lower that pistol, those things can go off by accident you know,” Jake greeted her, referring to the flintlock pistol with a fully threequarter inch bore that was pointing at him.“If you knew what you were talking about Jake White you’d know it was now half cocked. If I pulled the trigger nothing would happen. You’re surely not by yourself?” Mary asked, looking past him.Jake looked theatrically behind him and then looked back at her.“‘Fraid so,” he told her with a grin.“Oh fer chrissakes, not only do they send me an amateur, but.
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