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"I don't know," she hiccupped."You having second thoughts?" he asked, his heart tightening."That's not it at all," she sniffed."Still thinking about Roger?"She laughed, snorting."Okay, then ... what?" What if I fall in love with you?" she asked, her voice tiny. "What if I AM in love with you? This is all so confusing!" It would be silly for you to fall in love with me, but I can think of much worse things happening," he answered truthfully.Her head came up, her hair covering half her face as she looked at him."Why would it be silly?" she asked."You have your whole life ahead of you," he said. "Why tie half of it up with a guy who'll just get too old to meet your needs later?"He wasn't trying to be cruel, but he didn't want her to make decisions based on only emotion. He ached for her to be in love with him, but he honestly believed that would be better for him than for her."You'd deny me the opportunity to be gloriously happy for half my life?" she accused."I never quite thought of it. Still, junior high was a period of positive change for me. I was determined not to repeat my elementary school loneliness and approached networking with the same vigor I had applied to my studies before. My English had become near perfect, and my parents openly encouraged me to participate in school activities both for my happiness and for college applications, so my social life quickly ballooned with friends from things like math counts, science Olympiad and cheerleading.It didn't hurt that, despite my wiry frame, I was fairly pretty in an Asian geek sort of way, which lead to the tentative advances of a few boys. I said no, of course, since my priority was still school, and I didn't think I had time for that kind of distraction (my father said it best in his terse way: "It's a lot easier to make a boy crazy for you than a college"). But no matter how emphatically I turned them down, they proved that my life had crossed one of the last thresholds of innocence: sex was now a factor..
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