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His eyes opened wide in surprise and excitement as he nodded then headed over to the bar area to get us a couple of beers. Turning around, Bobbie was leaning over me, clearly having rushed across the room.“Hey there sexy beast” she chimed, “I’ve had my eyes out for you but haven’t been seeing you around. I almost feel like you’ve been dodging me, which would sure hurt my feelings!”.“Hi Bobbie,’’ I responded, trying my best to smile. “We just dropped in for a couple of minutes. How’s it going?”“Oh good, you know. Got some pretty sexy topless pictures of a dumb slut I know. Thinking about submitting them to Playboy. They’ve got some sort of ‘Horny Amateurs’ thing that doesn’t pay but accepts pictures from chicks who like to show off”“What?!?!” I hissed as I pulled her in tight to me. “You said no one would ever see them!”“Actually”, she responded “I said I wouldn’t show them to anyone who knows you. Does anyone at Playboy know you? Hmm?”My shoulders slumped as I realized I’d been. It was confusing to me and it went against everything I thought I believed. It went against every barrier and protection system I had setup. I felt I was “jumping” into something, and it went against my natural senses of caution…and at the same time something was telling me that this was ok and was right. I struggled to remember just how it went from point a to point b, but it happened so fast.In my mind I went over and over the conversations we had had by email. I had printed out all of our correspondence before going on my trip to Texas, and had put them in order and read and re-read them. I had speculated so many times on what she would look like, and the sort of person she would be. I am sure she had done the same, looking for clues about me, trying to read between the lines to find out who I really was. Marriage…..was this really in my future with this person? How could I have already talked about marriage with her? My kids didn’t know…they’d have thought me totally nuts if.
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