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There were surreptitious movements of hands down the front of trousers at various points. At the end, after just about everyone had had to visit the toilet (!) we discussed that night - the guys were all keen to see more of Sue in her sexy undies, and out of them… The consensus was that for a further donation the lads should be allowed to take their own photos of Sue as she modelled for us all. They suggested that she wore her mask again, to preserve her anonymity, but that they would be allowed to keep the photos, and that the shots should not be taken in my home or anywhere recognisable: “Surely that would reassure Sue that no-one would know it was her, and we wouldn’t publish the photos anyway” was the general agreement.I said that I’d put it to Sue and get back to them. I wasn’t at all sure she’d go for it, but then she had done the strip and been turned on by that, and the charity had been very pleased with the donation she forwarded to them, earning her a promotion in the. Not to fix itself you see, for it was too new, but so all the pieces would be there when one day, eventually, I could heal. ‘We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.’ ~Kenji Miyazawa After my boyfriend held me awkwardly across the center console and helped me cry, we traded places. He started driving home, and I sobbed quietly in the passenger seat, watching but not registering the scenery that we passed. I was angry still… it just couldn’t be true. I wasn’t ready. Our relationship had never been fixed… there was so much left unsaid, undone.. No! It just wasn’t time! Why? I wanted to scream my frustration, I wanted to scream that I didn’t know what to do! How would this every be right! How could my dad be gone? No, no, no, it wasn’t right, wasn’t time. I lit a cigarette and painfully took puffs in between sobs. My boyfriend quietly reminded me that I needed to breathe. My best friend called, he told her what happened. She got off work early and headed for my house..
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