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I couldn’t think who. They looked straight into you, it seemed to me. I thought it was a good thing I had nothing to hide or he’d see it for sure. ‘No,’ he said after a while. ‘I’m no cowhand. What’s your ma’s name, girl?’ ‘Ivy Masterson. Now, I mean. It didn’t use to be.’ His eyes prowled around inside me again. ‘You know my ma?’ ‘I did.’ ‘When?’ He shook his head… so slightly. ‘Doesn’t matter.’ I was 12 and smart enough to know a dead end when I heard one. ‘If you’re no cowhand, what are you?’ ‘Just a man.’ Not a poor man. His gear was nice. Broken in but not worn. A little prettied up, but not gaudy. I knew because that was the kind of thing I liked to see. I hoped to be a saddlemaker, one day. Ma always said I was addled to think so. It wasn’t ‘fit woman’s work’. But, from haunting the local saddlery, I knew a saddlemaker had to know about all kinds of leather gear, not just saddles, and sometimes he – she – had to make it pretty. ‘I sure admire that beaded scabbard. Never saw. She could not even get herself off with her finger.The doctor told of a lot more cases where a brutal Gang Rape or a woman severely abused and hurt sexually had lost all her interest in sex of any sort.In every case the woman had recovered, some in months, some in years. She had heard of only a few exceptions. If the girl or woman was retarded she often never did.She told Fay the mind has a way of healing it's self as time passes.Fay asked if there was anything she could do to speed up that healing.Dr. Ellison advised her to begin to date, but only with nice guys. She gave Fay four don'ts to remember and maybe her healing would begin.Don't go out with a guy that might try to force her to have sex.Don't have sex and fake an orgasm.Don't drink while out with a date.Don't ever get in a situation where she could be raped.Dr. Ellison gave her a few suggestions that might help.Meet a nice guy and keep the relationship one of a comrade and friend kind of thing.Date more than one guy, go out.
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