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I wanted to look sweet and feminine. I already knew how hard it would be to end our masquerade. "Honey, make love to me again," I whispered. I told him how much I loved him. It was quite real and I loved to say it. Then our tongues met in a long delicious kiss. At least I think it was real. I enjoyed the sound of it. Maybe it was just play-acting, but I was so excited to feel like a married woman.My taboos came crashing down yet again. I had let a man hold me and kiss me. At first, he had been reluctant to make love to me, sensing my nervousness and total lack of experience. I was glad of that because I was a little frightened. I just held him throbbing between my legs. It made me feel so gloriously feminine. His sensitivity and caring was so dear to me. Then I gave in to the moment. I needed fulfillment. I needed a joining. Last night I let a man enter me and make love to me. I did all the sensual things that he asked of me and surrendered to him completely.The next morning I teased. I would like to be one who you befriend.“Your faith is appealing to me because it gives a basis for who you are. I would like to go to that church. If you don’t want me to go there, I’ll try to find another that appeals to me similarly.”I was shocked or dumbfounded or something. I felt that it took a lot for Beth to have made that little speech to me. She was waiting. I said, “I would like to think we are friends. Of course, you are welcome at church.“Beth, I’m sorry to hear about your parents. I think they would be proud of the lovely person you have become.”Our server brought our food. As I bowed and asked the blessing upon our meal, Beth took my hand. I spoke low but aloud. Upon the amen, she gave my hand a squeeze before releasing it to eat.She asked, “Gerald, what’s involved in becoming a Christian? I’ve figured out that I don’t have to do anything weird or very strange. However, from what Pastor Ken said last night, there are life style changes that I may need to make.” I gave.
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