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In no time at all wewere at the corner shop, Melanie gave my hand to Sarah to look after meand dashed off getting the things she needed. Sarah took me to thechildren's' magazines and comics section, and kept picking up asking meif I wanted this one. I was praying that no-one would come in, butfortunately no-one else left it this late to do their shopping. I keptsaying 'no thank you' in my sweetest girly voice, and eventually she gotthe message but asked if I wanted a lollipop 'for being such a goodgirl'. To keep her quiet I said "Yes please" and we met Melanie at thetill we she paid for everything.As we left the shop, Melanie unwrapped the lollipop and handed it me. Myhead had stopped spinning and I was able to think more clearly. I hadlost all track of time, but reckoned it had to be about 6.30 if the shopwas about to close. In my first, albeit rather pathetic and feeble, actof trying to regain some control over the whole situation, and with sometrepidation as to the consequences, I. Boys with shirts hanging over their trousers, ties askew, girls in tight, short skirts and no coats no matter how cold the weather. It didn’t happen like that for me. There was never the right time, the right place, the right job. I thought there was the right man, but he was taken when I met him, bound up in commitments to wife, mortgage, children. There was passion, but he offered no promises, suggesting future opportunities, but the future has a habit of disappearing, subsumed by the present, making me realise the futility of allowing my future to be fashioned from the crumbs of another’s possibilities. After fifteen years, I said farewell, taking my leave, determined to find a sunset of my own choosing. I was growing old. The endless chatter of students brushing past me as I took my lunchtime walk in the park annoyed me. They spilled out over footpaths like a mindless sea, brushing aside anyone or anything in their way. I was invisible. The middle aged woman in the long green.
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