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I played it all over in my mind repeatedly during my journey home. The bullying, the sex, the affairs. All at the company I jointly owned, all involving Howard. It was like I was hearing about a different man. I didn’t know if my mind was playing tricks on me, but I started to see how it had all become possible. The time it all started made sense. The money over the years spent on ‘entertaining customers’ was just on entertaining themselves, trips away, not to mention on boob jobs.It was like, well, the last fifteen years flashed before me. The encouragement for me to take a step back and enjoy my work more; this was so I wasn’t involved in the day to day running of the company. My purpose-built annex, where I worked freely practicing experiments to hopefully help society with cures for diseases. All paid for by Howard; this was so I wasn’t thinking about anything else, not questioning the obvious. The reasons for why we didn’t have a lot of sex. The ‘it’s me not you,’ ‘I’m older than. When she hung out her underwear it was a row of beige bras and panties, almost industrial by design. She definitely preferred comfort over styling.I would visit my grandmother at least a couple of times a year, staying for a week or two to break up the monotony of school holidays. My grandmother was a very beautiful woman in her youth, and still a handsome woman in her later years. She would apply her make-up every morning and kept her greying hair at bay with henna dyes. But what caught my teenage attention was her wardrobe of vintage lingerie. It was new and alien to my teenage self, and I didn’t understand the stirrings in my loins as my eyes rested upon the collection of frills and beautifully embroidered nylon, cotton and silks. My curiosity and fascination had been awakened.One morning, when my grandmother was attending a church jumble sale one rainy day, I was left in her house alone. I knew I would have at least a couple of hours to myself, so I decided that I would.
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