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How would I carry on?Could I get past her deceit those many years ago and forgive her? At first I didn't think so. But now ... now I'm not so certain. She couldn't take it back. She couldn't make it right at this late date. Could I live with that as well? She had to admit to her sin before I could decide. She had to acknowledge that she had inflicted another deep wound in me.And what about this act I had performed. The new, dominant Howard Carver. It was an act. I knew that. Could I sustain it? I doubted it. Perhaps in some less aggressive and challenging form. Someone I could actually become without disliking myself. I knew I would never be able to return to the softer, weaker person I had been. Edie would never respect me if I did and I would likely find her seeking another man once again. What would it take to create that excitement that she craved?Nothing had changed from yesterday. I still needed to know more about her. There were still secrets, I expected. Where were they. I haven't decided yet whether to take him up on the offer. I'll have to give it some more thought. I have a feeling the river house would be a better place for him to entertain. Not as many prying eyes as at Charlie's house but I do think he was considering me when he made the offer and not his shacking opportunities."Jamie was in town for about a week for your funeral and things to do with the affairs of your estate. He left to meet Vickie in San Francisco but I expect him back soon. He will be coming to Savannah on a regular basis for a while to get a handle on all your enterprises and charities. You would be proud of him Ellie. Instead of taking the money and running, which I would have done, which of course you knew, he started to lay out his plans for being a good steward of the resources you left him."He's fucking his sister. There's nothing that can be done about it but I don't think it will amount to anything more than a piece of ass whenever he's in town. I must say they do.
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