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The girlfriend sat there looking bored and impatient to leave at the first opportunity.The grandson’s name was Jacob and he was a nice boy.Lucy caught him reading a risqué magazine when his grandmother was sleeping and she had to laugh because it was the last thing she thought he would ever do. Jacob was a handsome devil and could have any girl in his clutches as long as he didn’t open his mouth and spoil it with too much information. He had fumbled about with her verbally a couple of times and she was of the opinion that he had a cute case of shyness around females that handicapped him from finding a suitable girlfriend to take home to mother. He tried to hide the magazine and she whispered in his ear, “Don’t bother, Jacob, that stuff is just a waste of time. You need to be getting a feel for the real thing.”He seemed overly embarrassed and she was regretful that she had confronted him with his own detested weakness.“I like looking at the pictures, Nurse Lucy, I don’t get to see. She then disengaged herself and drank his pint in one long draught, sitting on his lap and grinning at him in a way that brooked no argument. She was such a hit that the landlord waved the payment Micky offered, saying that “old big-mouth will take a long while living that down!”They stayed for about an hour, Sadie Remaing on the old lads lap throughout, on one occasion asking the still a little embarrassed Sid, giving the old boy a look of horror and in a larger than life voice, “is that something stiff in your trouser pocket or is it your idea a compliment!” Again, the pub exploded in laughter. Mary asking for “twos up!” At which, Patch and the old chap next to him shared the luckless Patches pint as he choked, being mid swill! Drinks flowed, before the party broke up, three quarters of an hour later. The place by now in uproar, as the girls left blowing kisses to a probably relieved Sid, by now fearful to stand and embarrass himself further till his stiffness wore off and it.
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