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” God was surprised, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here.”“No way,” replied Satan. “I like having an engineer, and I’m keeping him.”God threatened, “Send him back up here now or I’ll sue!”Satan laughed and answered, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”This woman goes in for a facelift and the doctor says: “We’ve got this new method: I put a knob in the back of your head, and every time you feel like you need a lift, just turn it.”She gets the knob implanted and is beautiful for five years.But one day she notices a problem and returns to the doctor.“I’ve got these huge bags under my eyes,” she complains.The surgeon replies: “Those aren’t bags; those are your breasts.”“Ah,” she sighs. “That explains the goatee.”The juryman petitioned the court to be excused, declaring: “I owe a man twenty-five dollars that I borrowed, and as he is leaving town today for some years I want. "Jacob snorted. He was always hard on the kids the first six weeks. It let the kids know he was setting a high expectation for them."So why don't you ask her out, Mr. E?" Tiffany chimed in.A flippant reply was on his lips, but instead of letting it fly, Jacob shut his mouth and walked to the desk at the back of his room. The students fell silent, no doubt wondering if they had pushed their luck too far.He reached into a drawer and pulled out an envelope and a sheet of paper. Scribbling something on the paper, Jake folded it and then sealed the envelope. "Erin, would you please take this to Miss Armstrong for me?"The high schooler's eyes got almost as wide as her smile. She bounded out of her seat, took the envelope in one hand, the hall pass in the other and headed for the door."You guys need to get back to work," Jacob said before any of the other students could say anything. "Those worksheets are due at the end of class."A few minutes later, Erin returned. She was smiling broadly..
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