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..brought up under strict schooling and English discipline...private boarding school where all manner of nasty things go on at the dead of night, but no more of that. But it meant that we had both been beaten by senior boys, - who no doubt got one hell of a sexual thrill out of it tho' they claimed they were simply maintaining discipline and it was nothing personal.....you bet it wasn't. How many of them went off and masturbated afterwards I just couldn't imagine. So that delightful experience has been lurking at the back of both our minds ever since, - he for fewer years than I, lucky fella ! And now it's out. We can face up to it openly and actually enjoy it !! Turn a bad time into a fucking good time. Not by whipping someone else less fortunate than ourselves but by being whipped with care and consideration by a true partner for our own mutual and open pleasure and not in fear. As a tried, tested and calculated sexual stimulus and not as a quasi-military and sadistic. Find someone, someone to have fun with, do things with. At least that much,’ she half begged me. Of course I balked at her notion, the words forming even as I began to express them, but she held her fingers up to my lips effectively shushing me. ‘You promised,’ she said, and with that, took her very last breath and passed from this life into the next. Even as the alarm on her monitor sounded, I continued to hold her, oblivious to the sound it was making. Her final words still ringing in my ears as I sat there. ‘Don’t live alone…promise me.’ # After everyone had left, friends and relatives I hadn’t seen in years, I continued to stand there as they lowered my wife’s casket into the cold hard ground. The kids as always standing by my side, finally pulling me away though my head stayed behind even though my body followed. I remember eating something later, without tasting it. I remember hushed whispers outside my room as they quietly left leaving me to sleep, though I remained wide.
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