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‘Where is the most beautiful girl in the world? Where’s my Anna?’ ‘You haven’t paid enough for a girl as good as Anna!’ ‘Look, I’ll give everyone some money.’ He handed out a ruble to each one of their friends and also to each of the Federovs. ‘Now you’ve proven worthy,’ exclaimed Anna’s father. Anna was let out of her bedroom and she rushed to hug Niki. Soon they left for the Registry Office accompanied by the Best Man and the Maid of Honor. There they went through the ceremony, exchanging rings and kisses and filling out the sheaf of papers to be officially married. Finally, the four young people headed out to the hall where the party was being held. A fiddler had been engaged. He’d play a few dances and then a romantic ballad. Sometimes a folk tune would get everyone singing along. Of course there was vodka a plenty. Every so often one of their friends would call out ‘Kiss, Kiss’ and Anna and Niki would wrap each other up and afterwards take a shot of vodka. Anna would have just a. "Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT.
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