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“Oh, good -- then you’ll fit right in!”For Jews, the deity is YHWH. For UU’s, it’s YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4 committees to approve the change. Oh, and a casserole.Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.Pentecostals: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will go on and off.Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in. There were gasps from many in the room, and then Suzi came in."Tim? Joey! What's going on?"I was able to impress to Joey that something needed to be rubbed on both John and I to give our nerves something to send that was normal.Joey thought fast. "Suzi. Rub Tim's chest. Like his mom does. Somebody rub John's." This is crazy! You can't expect me to follow the advice of a student?" the nurse said to Higgs.Joey remembered his ring and raised it to Suzi and said "Linda, John's chest."Suzi understood, and switched hands so her ring hand was free. She said "Linda, go rub John's chest like I'm doing Tim's." Huh? Why me?" Linda said, hesitating.Suzi threw her ringed hand up for Linda to see and said, "Linda, go rub John's chest like I'm doing Tim's!"This time, Linda got up and said, "Yes, Suzi." as she scrambled over others to get up to John. She knelt beside John and began making circles with her hand.Seconds ticked by, John's heart was about to stop again. But the rubbing was helping me.
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