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I just don't get it." Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc."Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old grandson out for a. In a moment of passion I raised my hands to touch her, and then the whole world seemed to fall in on me. My darling little Monica became an animal. No longer the wild tigress now she was more of a raging gorilla. She punched me in the stomach, not hard, but enough to wind me slightly. Then in one movement, she threw my hands back on the pillow and jumped off the bed. "I told you not to move," she yelled, "Well, didn't I?" She demanded, ripping open a drawer and almost spilling all the contents on the floor. "WELL?" She glared at me as she returned to the bed. "Yes sweetheart, you did, but I..." "But you what, you thought I wouldn't notice, was that it?" I'd never seen her so angry, and I fumbled to find the words to excuse my behavior, though quite honestly I didn't think I'd done anything too serious. I was so flustered, I hardly noticed Monica winding a pair of her tights round my wrists and knotting them. It wasn't until she pulled them over my head and began tying them.
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