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It was nearly ten oclock when we sat down to eat. Chris joined us for his first and last meal with his daughter. They talked about school and work. I felt invisible at the table. He may be a bad husband but hes an amazing father. She has no idea that when she wakes up in the morning he will have already walked out of her life. Its something Ive felt for years. Chris carried Ana up to bed and tucked her in while i cleaned up after dinner. Once again i felt his eyes watching me. His stare is like a fatal caress. I still love him and i think he still loves me. He stands behind me and puts his arms around my waist. Gently kissing my neck he begins to massage my breasts. I could feel him hardening against me. Chris, this cant happen i said pushing him away and going into the kitchen. He seemed disappointed as he walked to the living. Its four in the morning and Chris hasnt left yet. Im beginning to worry about my feelings. He sees me in the door way. I really want him to hold me in his. What is dripping into him, however, is amystery, and although he could theoretically ask one of the nurses, orwhatever they are, who come by occasionally to change the bag on themetal pole, he is, in practice, either asleep when they come, or somehow,he forgets to ask."Don't I need to get back...to something?" he asks someone, maybe it's MaryPat, who sits beside him, reading an old fat novel.It's not the sort of book anyone really reads, although it's creased andworn as if a thousand hands have flipped its pages. Something she musthave found in the day room, something by someone named...oh, he can't seethe name, what's the difference anyway?Mary Pat, if it's her, lowers the book. Her eyes are hidden behind verydark glasses. She smiles."There's no hurry," she says.The way she says it brings tears to Kenny's eyes."I'm very tan," he says irrelevantly. Just for the hell of it, he tries to remember when the last time he atemight have been, but he can't think back that far. "And very thin..
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