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Quincy gives me my warm fuzzies, but Harvey makes me feel safe. You each bring something special to the table, you see. I got a London barkeep for a husband, one who reminds me of Bob fucking Hoskins, has that whole ‘salt of the earth’ quality. A regular, working-class bloke. The sort that my lot has fucked over far too many times. At least when I screw you, love, you’ll enjoy it! I’ve long wanted to give back to people like you, who tossers like my parents have hurt and abused so much.“I also have a tough, jaded, lecherous redneck from the American South with a real mix of intellect, roguish charm, twang, and passion. You’re romantic without being sappy, sentimental without being naive or easily manipulated, ruthless without being sociopathic or cold-blooded, warm without being too emotional, civil without being insincere, ethical or moral without being prudish or puritanical, and bold without being too reckless. You get the idea. A century ago, you’d have been toppling governments.. ..”I looked him in the eye. Michael is mildly autistic, the consequent single-mindedness a significant asset to his scientific pursuits. It also means he’s inclined to take things too literally at times but, on the flip side, it makes him a terrible liar.Michael noted my serious tone and demeanour. “Yes,” he finished, “I think you’re gay.”“You’re also a scientist and follow scientific methods. What evidence do you have that I’m gay? Have you seen me kissing another boy or indulging in gay sex?”“Well, not exactly.”“So why do you think I’m gay?”“I don’t know. It’s just that everything about you screams ‘gay’.”“Like the quality of my interior decorating? You’ve seen my room, haven’t you! And how about my hairdressing skills?” I ran my hand through my unruly mop of hair to emphasis just how inept I was. “And you’ve seen my acting skills. To be or not to be...” I hammed, waving my arms theatrically.Michael sniggered. “I don’t know man, I just know that you’re gay.”“Just supposing I wasn’t.
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