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Well, I'm glad we've clarified that then, and maybe we can agree to split our differences and simply acknowledge her as a hirsute fucker. Works for me. But enough of all this chatter about facial and pubic hair, there are some serious life-defining issues here that need attention, so without barely a pause to gulp down the remaining dregs of the first bottle of blush zinfandel, let's go 'to a letter'.Dear Crumbly,I am affianced to Ariel the most perfect of all earth's creatures but our upcoming wedding day and, more particularly, the completion of my conjugal rights is causing me nervous jitters. How, oh Agony Aunt who surpasses all understanding, do you sexually pleasure a mermaid, and is there a special tentacle that I should be using.Yours in an inky cloud of doubtful expectation,Kraken (The)Oh for Milly Molly Mandy's sake, do I really need to answer this? What were you doing during all those inter-species sex education lessons in Junior High, Mr Kraken? Probably making inky paper. "Got a little wimp you need to lock up?" Ronsmiled. "I sure do." He thought. "Is there a bathroom I can use?" Heasked after he paid for his things. "Sure in the back." Said the clerk.He walked to the back of the store and entered the tiny one man bathroomand locked the door behind him. He put his bags down and stripped naked.He grabbed his dick and began to quickly stroke it. "I'm not a real man."He silently chanted to himself. Within 30 seconds he was cumming in hishand. He without thinking brought his hand to his pink lips and beganlicking the slime from his hand. Once he was clean, he got out thechastity device, put it on and locked the pad lock. "I'm never touchingmy penis again." He thought. He threw the key to the lock in the toiletand quickly flushed it. He next got out the butt plug and jammed it intohis asshole until he was sure it was secure. He got out the fake breastsand glue. He applied a liberal amount of glue to each breast beforeattaching it to his.
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